What to Look for in a Teacher, Mentor, or Coven

Looking for a teacher or mentor can be daunting. But in this internet age it has definitely gotten a bit easier. With that being said, not everyone offering to teach or for you to join their group is equal. They may all have the greatest intention but may not be the right fit for you.

Before you begin your search, you should have a good idea of what you are looking for. Even if you are brand new to this path you should take some time to do some research, studying (books, not just articles on the web). Have an idea of what your style is. Know what you are looking for?

• Why do you want to find a teacher or group? Is it because you want connections? Because you want that feeling of belonging. Is it because you learn better hands on, or one on one, or in a group setting?

• What kind of Path are you looking for? Have you investigated the different kinds of traditions that out there? Are you looking for a traditional Wiccan group? An eclectic Pagan group? Druid? Heathen? Don’t know. May you want to do some research on the web to get an idea what each path might have to offer. Or check out our blog posts on these topics.

• What ethics or ideals are important to you? Is it important to you to find a group that follows the Rede and Three-Fold Law? Not all groups do. Are you ok if the group drinks or does substances? What about doing rituals skyclad (naked), is this something you would be ok with? Knowing your boundaries long before you are faced with them helps you not get into a situation that you are uncomfortable with.

• Why do you want to learn Paganism or Wicca? Have you done some reading, and this feels like the path you are drawn to? Have you been studying on your own and practicing solitary for a while and feel like you want to connect with other with like minds? Do you like the shock factor or alternative lifestyle of being a witch?

• Do you want a coven, circle, or just connect with others? Do you just want to connect and make some like-minded friends you can hang out with from time to time? Yes, you just might be looking for Wiccan or Pagan friends. Or do you want a group that you are not committed to but can-do rituals with from time to time? Yes, you may be looking for an open “Circle”. Or do you want a stronger connection and commitment? If so then you probably are looking for a coven. Make sure you ask about the commitment level and what is expected of you with that. Different traditions have different expectations.

• What qualities would you like to find in a teacher? Are you looking for someone that is supportive and understanding? Someone that will keep you accountable? Will you select them for their knowledge and experience? It is important to know what you need in a teacher or mentor and to communicate your needs. This prevents disappointment and resentment on both sides. Everyone goes into the relationship with clear expectations.

Where to look:

• Meet -Ups such as Google Meet

• On-line Communities: Such as on Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok, Read-It

• · Local Occult shops

• · Pagan Festivals

• · Holistic Expos

Ok now you have met either virtually or in person some people, now what?

When emailing or sending a DM:

• When messaging someone introduce yourself. Don’t just say hey I want to join or will you accept me as a student.

• Tell them about your interest and your path so far.

• Don’t ask for spells and such.

• Be patient. They may not get back immediately. They may be busy with work and family. They also may be getting feedback from the rest of their coven. They may wait for their next coven meeting to discuss.

Talk to them.

• Find out if they follow a particular tradition or are eclectic.

What are the main tenants of their traditions? What are the requirements for initiation? How does tradition practice? Are they a teaching tradition? Do they have a degree system? How is it structured? What are the requirements?

• What is their style of teaching?

Do they pair you up one on one with a teacher? Or do they have group classes. Do they have study groups for the whole coven? Do they have specific lessons that you are required to learn for the next degree?

• What kinds of expectations do they have students?

Are there fees? How much time is required? What if you have other obligations when a study group or ritual is scheduled?

• How does this all work for them?

This is where you will start to see any red flags pop up.

Ask yourself:

• Do they seem friendly?

• Do they seem supportive?

• Are they Kind?

• Do they seem like they will be there for you when needed. (Ask other students past or present)

• What does your intuition tell you? Do you feel you could build trust here?

• Can they answer your questions, and do they answer them (with real answers)?

One red flag that was not really talked about on Monday is when a teacher, mentor, or coven is ready to dedicate you almost immediately. Anyone worth their salt is going to take some time to get to know you and you them. See if you connect and are comfortable with one another.

If it is part of a group or coven, they will want to make sure everyone gets along and there is a good fit. They will usually have the group vote (and not in front of you, that puts on too much pressure and is in itself red flag) on if everyone agrees with you fitting.

Happy Hunting!