Love Myself: The Importance of Self-Love

I remember years ago reading an article that if half the women in America began to truly love themselves and their looks, they could bankrupt the diet and make-up industries. It was a little clickbait-like before clickbait was a thing, but it resonated with me. There are whole industries worth billions of dollars set up around the premise of making people hate who they are and “offering” a solution. There are people out there, making a living by telling people that they aren’t thin enough, pretty enough, or even strong enough. They are preying on people who don’t love themselves.

Self love is the concept that you make mindful efforts to accept who you are, build on your strengths, and care for yourself as if you are important. It is a series of practices that help you heal your trauma, become healthier, and build your confidence. It is all about loving yourself for who you are and treating yourself with the same love and compassion that you treat others. I like to think that self love focuses on the best parts of a person and doesn’t dwell on the flaws.

Mindful self awareness is a big part of self love. It is also a good place to start your self love journey. Start making note of those things that you like about yourself. Do you have bright eyes or maybe you like the way your hair lays on a certain day? Start adding these things to your journal. It doesn’t even need to be a physical appearance thing, maybe you love the way you can read maps without GPS. Celebrate those things that make you special. Start reminding yourself how unique and special you are.

I highly recommend journaling and affirmations as starter acts of self-love. With a journal, you can look back on what you love about yourself at a later date, make notes on things you wish to improve, and break down issues that arise. Self love is often a slow, subtle process that builds on itself until you become strong and confident and love yourself. We didn’t start to hate ourselves overnight and we are not going to fully love ourselves at once. It takes time and there will be good days and bad days, but everyday is a chance at healing and a step forward.

Affirmations are important for self love. Telling yourself that you love yourself and respect yourself can do a lot for you. Just saying “I can do this, I am capable” can build your self-esteem and confidence. Affirmations allow you to realize and recognize that you are important. You are unlearning years of the people in your life and the world at large telling you that you are insignificant and weak. Start with simple affirmations and build from there. In time, your life will become an affirmation to the strong and beautiful being your soul always knew you were.

Self love is a daily practice, or at least as often as you can manage. Don’t try to tackle everything all at once, one small thing at a time will still yield massive results. Start by taking time for yourself. Meditate, do a little self care, journal, notice your feelings. Try to be a little less critical with yourself and others. I was once told that when we look at people, the first thought that comes to mind is what society has told us what we should think, the second thought is how we feel. Catch that first thought and start asking yourself “why do I think that?” I often find that those first thoughts relate back to things I don’t like about myself. Every day, tell yourself something you are proud of about yourself ; do it as often as you need to.

Self love is about learning to believe in yourself, seeing your value, and treating yourself with respect. It is considered very important for good mental health. It can and, often, does lead to positive lifestyle changes. Self love can be as simple as saying positive things to yourself, to making healthy choices in your life, to holding yourself accountable. It is a lot about recognizing your resources and limits and not punishing yourself for falling short of your goals. Some acts of self love are:

· valuing your feelings

· holding yourself accountable for what your do and say

· getting yourself to step outside your comfort zone

· asking for help when you need it

· recognizing your strengths

· healing your past trauma

· prioritizing your health and well-being

· forgiving yourself when you make mistakes and faux pas

· spending time around people who love and support you

· not letting others manipulate you or take advantage of you

· letting go of grudges and anger

· living in accordance with your values

· accepting your imperfections

· setting realistic goals

· congratulating yourself on your accomplishments

And inversely, self love is none of the following:

· only thinking of yourself in situations

· perfectionism

· acting like others are beneath you.

· lying to get your way.

· using people for your own gain

· not taking responsibility for your actions or words

· seeking constant outside validation and recognition

· lacking empathy for others

· loose or non-existent morals

· doing it all yourself and never asking for help

· people-pleasing

· abandoning your children, spouse, friends, loved ones because they no longer serve your needs

· holding grudges and seeking revenge

· putting yourself on a pedestal

· blaming your flaws on others