Life is a Choose Your Own Adventure…

There is a duality in the basic emotional approaches to life; it deals with how you look at the world around you. You can come at life with love in your heart or with fear in your heart, the two base emotions of all other emotions. They are very different ways to approach the world around you and will give you very different experiences. In many cases, people approach life in a combination of these two approaches, usually leaning more towards one approach or the other. This mixed approach is perfectly fine as balance is the ideal state in the Universe and as long as you are truthful to yourself.

What is the difference between the two approaches? Approaching life with love is not about being a bubble-headed Pollyanna setting yourself up to be used. It is very much the opposite, approaching life with love is about healing your trauma, pushing the boundaries of your comfort zones, learning new things, building up the community you are a part of, and building a strong, healthy support network. When you live your life with love, you are able to live in the present, love and respect yourself, and feel empathy for your fellow humans. It is a very life affirming approach and people who look at life this way tends to be happier.

When you approach life from a place of fear, you look at the world as a me against them situation and often you feel like the victim of your past thus making you unable to move on in the present. You fear that someone may steal what little happiness or possessions you managed to gather. It is a place of helplessness and struggle. There is not time for healing, living in the present, or love of self. The first reaction to new situations is of anger and hatred. New people are to be feared and community is to be avoided. It is a very tiring and lonely approach to life because you are always on guard and trust no one.

People who approach life from a place of love tend to be more adventurous and happier in demeanor. They like to try new foods and have new experiences. They do their best not to judge people as stereotypes but would rather get to know new people. Even if they are not outgoing personality-wise, they still like to try new things and situations. They believe that they are not defined by their past or past traumas, but rather the past was a series of lessons to learn from to make them a better person in the present. They live in the present and see each day as a new lesson to make them a better person in the future. Their spirituality or religion is one of hope, education, and community. People who approach life with love believe that strong communities build strong people and strong worlds. They tend to want to contribute to society rather than take what they can and give nothing back. When they introduce themselves, they are more likely to mention their hopes or accomplishments than their traumas. Approaching things with love is very life affirming and when inconvenienced they may show a little frustration, but they will seek to find solutions for the inconvenience.

Sometimes a little fear is a good thing in life. It keeps us as curious humans from going blindly into dangerous situations that we are in no way prepared for. However, too much fear does not allow for learning and growing. Fear makes you inflexible, every new idea or new way of doing things brings about stress and feelings of doom. Approaching life with fear immobilizes us and keeps us from learning the soul lessons we are here to learn and keeps us from experiencing the beauty of being alive.

We all know that person, only shops at stores that they know where the clientele looks mainly like them and, in some cases, thinks like them. They look down on anyone who is different, they are constantly on the alert for danger and seriously believe that there is someone out trying to harm them or wants what they have. When presented with change, they have a list of reasons why the change is wrong and why they can’t do it. They may claim to be very spiritual or religious people, but they do nothing to grow spiritually, and their religious beliefs are often used to make them feel better while condemning whomever they dislike. The traumas of their past or their current illnesses define who they are and will often be part of how they introduce themselves. “Nice to meet you, my name is Aunt Betty and I have ...” Anger is such a way of life for them that every little inconvenience is met with violence or threats of violence.

When navigating life safely, a little bit of balance is needed. Or at least, a little bit of instinctual awareness. You can approach life with love and still be aware that there are times when joyfully skipping down a dark alley might not be the best idea, or that someone well-liked by others may not be the best person to be around. Instincts are there to keep us alive. You may even lose your temper a time or two. The thing is those little bits of instinct and hatred are part of life. The secret is to look at the lessons inherent in those moments and acknowledge them.

Fear is easy and it is lazy, all too often it is easier to be afraid than to love. However, fear will drain the energy from a life, fear feeds on a person’s life energy until they are nothing but a shell of who they were destined to be. It is possible to change a fear-approached life into a life approached from love, but it takes a lot of work and a lot of being very truthful with yourself. Growth is often painful, but growth is good. Love takes work, it takes awareness and patience. How you approach life sets up the future you will have. Do you want a strong community, or do you seek isolation? Do you seek spiritual growth or spiritual stagnation. The choice is yours, how you approach life has a direct influence on how your future manifests.