Having Empathy vs. Being an Empath

Let’s start off with what is Empathy. Empathy is the innate ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and understand and relate to what they are feeling. With empathy you are feeling “for” another person. Empathy is a spectrum, but most people feel some level of empathy for their fellow humans. Those that do not feel any empathy are psychopaths or sociopaths.

Being a true empath takes this a step further. They actually “feel” what another person is feeling inside their own body. They know what someone else is feeling without having to have heard the other persons story. Scientists believe only 2% of people are true empathy.

I know there is a lot of hype going around online about how having an abusive or traumatic childhood can make you a empath. I believe that it can cause you to be very high on the empathy spectrum because you learn to look out for any sign of what those around you are feeling so that you can try to manage the emotional situation. Walking on eggshells and trying not to set someone “off”. I know that to be absolutely true. But the key here is that while it makes you very, very astute at reading what others are feeling, it does not make you feel what other are feeling within your own body. That is the difference.

A true empath does not need the external clue to key into what someone else is feeling. All they have to do is connect, either consciously or unconsciously, with someone and they can feel in their own body what someone else is feeling or experiencing.

You can learn and hone your empathy, but scientist believe that those that are empaths are born with it. I am not sure that is what I believe. I believe there are those that are born with it and that is comes as second nature to, but also think that you can learn to be an empath. Just like there are natural mediums and channels, but you can also learn how to do those things as well.

There is some research that suggest that a specialized group of brain cells called mirror neurons could impact the way you perceive and respond to emotions of those around you. Further study is needed to explore this. But it is believed that empaths have more or more active mirror neurons than others.

Here are some signs you may have a high level of empathy, but not be a true empath:

• You are highly sensitive of the needs of others.

• You have a high level of compassion towards others.

• You are highly intuitive and can pick up on what others are going through easily.

• You use your previous experiences to relate to what another person is experiencing.

• You are naturally emotionally sensitive and care deeply about other’s wellbeing.

Here are some signs that you may be an empath:

• You can walk into a room and feel the vibe of the room without anyone saying or doing anything. You can feel you whole mood change for apparently no reason.

• Too much closeness or intimacy can overwhelm you emotionally.

• You have very strong intuition.

• Large crowds of people can make you feel overwhelmed or disoriented.

• You are a good listener and strangers often come up to you and tell you their life story.

• You can pick up subtle clues like facial expressions and non-verbal gestures to understand how someone is feeling.

• People come to you for emotional support.

• You need your environment to be a place of peace you can retreat to.

• You take comfort in nature.

• You need to take time to isolate to recharge and recover.

• You do not like conflict or fights, but also are uncomfortable with the unsaid conflict brewing under the surface.

• You can absorb the emotional responses of others and can make them your own to the point of getting emotionally drained and exhausted.

• You often feel like you are different and do not fit in.

• You struggle not to care sometimes.

• You struggle to be around those who are not being honest, especially with their selves because you can feel the truth under the surface.

• You struggle to set boundaries or say no to others.

• You are highly sensitive to sounds, smells, or sensations.

• You often have unique perspectives on the world.

Here are some tips you can use whether you are a true empath or have high levels of empathy:

• Make a point to recognize the differences between what you are feeling and what are other people’s feelings.

• Be aware of toxic relationships and other issues. (i.e., narcissists, codependency, being a people pleaser)

• Set boundaries!

• Practice self-care

• Really learn to Ground, Center, and Shield